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would you like to HOW SCARED?
Here's a five-page paper (in PDF) deconstructing the memorable chord that opens the Beatles' A Hard Day's Night.
posted by Ace : 11:10 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
FROM THE SMALL WORLD DEPARTMENT
While using the excellent Bloglines newsreader to browse my favorite blogs, I noticed that the extraordinarily popular and prolific Atrios linked to a Letter to the Editor written by my freshman year Resident Advisor. In it, Dennis Mulvihill juxtaposes the Bush administration's desire for higher fines against broadcast indecency with its push to cap damage awards to those injured by, say, medical malpractice. The new GOP adage: "Sticks and stones may break someone else's bones, but words will hurt me worsely."
posted by Ace : 9:29 AM
Friday, March 12, 2004
HEADLINE HUMOR
This list of funny headlines is making its way through email channels (and has already been posted on hundreds of blogs). The version I received purports that these headlines appeared in 2003, but a quick google search shows that many if not all have been around longer than that. In any case, as a wordplay enthusiast and former headline writer, I enjoyed them.
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.
posted by Ace : 3:27 PM
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Technical note: For those of you who know about newsreaders and RSS feeds, I have added one to this site (click the XML button). For those who don't, I recommend reading this.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have not abandoned this blog. I am busy making way for my first child, due early next month. Priorities, priorities...
posted by Ace : 8:09 AM
Saturday, January 03, 2004
LADY LUCK, MEET BIG BROTHER
This sure was news to me: while the rest of us were watching Saddam get picked and probed last month, President Bush quietly signed a bill that gives the feds the expanded powers of the much-criticized Patriot Act II. It's now the law of the land that no probable cause or judicial review is needed for the FBI to get your records from "stockbrokers, car dealerships, casinos, credit card companies, insurance agencies, jewelers, airlines, the U.S. Post Office..."
The FBI need not tell Congress how often it uses these powers. And these "financial institutions" are also gagged by the law, meaning they can't tell you that your information was surrendered.
But I'll give you one hint: if you were in Las Vegas over the holidays, computerized records of your casino visits are now available to the FBI.
Can this really be happening in the United States of America? You bet your Ashcroft.
posted by Ace : 9:49 AM
Monday, December 08, 2003
THE MISFORTUNES HARDEST TO BEAR ARE THOSE WHICH NEVER COME
So apparently the matter has been settled. Howard Dean will be the Democratic nominee for president.
Sure, the first primary won't happen 'til next year. Yes, there are nine candidates actively campaigning. And most Americans aren't really tuned into this race yet. So what, right?
The political insiders -- both the Washington power brokers and the chattering class of media -- have by and large conceded that Dean's appeal cannot be repealed. He's not from Washington. He voices the anger many feel against Bush. His deft use of the internet has brought plenty of small donations and young voters into his camp. He leads in the polls and the money chase, so you'd better get on board if you want to ride this train. Even the wonderful Molly Ivins got her ticket punched.
Of course, this is all wrong, on so many levels. It's just not democratic to anoint a nominee before any votes have been cast. It pre-empts any serious national debate about the issues. It becomes a matter of positioning and packaging.
Just look at it this way: the system is rigged so that there will only be two viable parties fielding candidates for president. In one party, there's no opposition. In the other, practically NO VOTERS will face a true and open choice.
Face it, Republicans love the idea of facing Dean. You can hear their "helpful" if slickly vague endorsements all over -- how Dean has unstoppable momentum, how he seems immunized from controversies, etc.
That's because they know Bush will kick the crap out of him next November. Truth is, Dean has geographical and cultural disadvantages in the broader electorate. He does not present the most viable alternative to Bush's foreign and military policy. While appearing blunt and decisive, he's prone to gaffes, "tin ear" decisions, and $200 million worth of caricature.
I still support General Wesley Clark. A non-politician, he was the last to enter the race, and he stumbled for a few weeks. Now, just as he's gaining traction, many self-interested souls say it's already too late. Bush and his camp secretly fear him. Better than any other Democrat, Clark can articulate exactly what's gone wrong with America since 2001 AND what his administration would do differently. He can challenge Bush's decisions AND his character. With his natural appeal to Southern, military and veterans constituencies, he offers a palatable option for conflicted Republicans.
So go listen to what Clark has to say through this great collection of his recent campaign appearances, including David Letterman, 60 Minutes II, Meet the Press, and many others. Then kick in a few bucks to prove that it's not just Dean who has broad-based popular appeal.
There's really only one potential president among these nine Democrats. But if too few Americans know about him in time -- that is, within the next month -- then we'll never get to see Clark confront a vulnerable Bush one-on-one about national security, leadership, economic policy, health insurance, and the future of the American environment, society, and democracy itself. And that's just what the neocons and the big-moneyed corporate interests would prefer.
posted by Ace : 9:22 AM
Thursday, December 04, 2003
IF A PIN FALLS IN THE FOREST...
I was asked to join a bowling league this fall, and it's been great fun. But I'm not satisfied with my bowling average -- a measly 125 or so. What to do? Well, a few practice rounds is a lot cheaper than my other idea, a new ball.
So sure enough, all by myself, no taking turns, no one watching or caring one way or another, I've averaged 162 over 14 practice games. Not a single score below my league average. An all-time personal high game of 210.
Maybe I shouldn't even publicize this evidence that I may be underperforming when it counts. But they do call it "open bowling" for a reason.
posted by Ace : 7:05 PM
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
PROFILE IN ABSENTIA
Decent piece of writing (if not journalism) here on reclusive Calvin & Hobbes creator Bill Watterson. Apparently his last public appearance was when he gave the commencement address at my college graduation. He graduated from Kenyon ten years before I did. It's admirable but ironic that he's such an artistic purist, considering that his success came from the pedestrian genre of comic strips.
posted by Ace : 4:58 PM
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
LOGICAL PROGRESSION
Did you hear General Tommy Franks' speculate what would happen if terrorists succeed with a catastrophic attack on the U.S.?
According to a new magazine interview (as reported by ultra-right-wing newsmax.com), such an event would cause "our population to question our own Constitution and to begin to militarize our country in order to avoid a repeat of another mass, casualty-producing event. Which in fact, then begins to unravel the fabric of our Constitution."
I hope that enough Americans would believe that our Constitutional freedoms are this country's strength, not a cause of weakness that stifles effective self-defense. But I understand how Franks would get this idea, given the ominous trajectory of the last two years.
This, in fact, is my most fundamental grievance with the Bush administration. Instead of embodying and supporting core American values (especially justice, liberty, and open government), he undermines them by exploiting our fears at home and strong-arming the world at large.
Franks apparently thinks he'll continue to get away with it. If terrorists strike even harder than they did on 9/11, Americans won't hold Bush accountable. Rather, they'll willingly surrender even more freedoms to an administration that isn't the least bit bashful about hogging them.
And I doubt it would be a temporary arrangement.
posted by Ace : 4:19 PM
Friday, November 21, 2003
TRAFFIC'S NEXT STOP: CLEVELAND
The latest Rock and Roll Hall of Fame honorees were announced yesterday, and I'm glad to see that one of my very favorite bands will be inducted.
Jackson Browne's a great singer/songwriter. George Harrison definitely deserves posthumous enshrinement for his solo career. Prince is a fabulous talent, and I enjoyed all his albums when I was a teenager. Bob Seger songs are radio standards, especially here in Michigan; my favorites are "Turn the Page" and "Night Moves." The Dells were an amazingly stable R&B vocal group. best known for "Oh What a Nite."
But the inductee-to-be that strikes the deepest chord in my psyche is Traffic, an eclectic British group from the heydey of rock. Go here and type "Traffic" for the full scoop; it lists their tones as "Freewheeling, Playful, Trippy, Organic, Quirky, Whimsical." If you've never heard of them, don't be thrown by the strong involvement of Steve Winwood, whose subsequent pop schmaltz was way overplayed. In Traffic, his soulful singing and keyboards were stellar. But what made the group so great was the diversity of its elements (from flutes to African drums) and styles (from acoustic folk to acid rock to jazz improv). You've probably heard of "Feelin' Alright," later recorded by Joe Cocker, and I hope also "Dear Mr. Fantasy," and the 12-minute classic "Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys," the title track on an album whose cover has six sides. But their highlights go way beyond these standards. If you haven't yet come to appreciate Traffic, by all means dig in. You'll find a sonic panoply of the silly and the sublime. Traffic was perhaps my favorite band in college, and their "Coloured Rain" -- now the name of their fanzine -- was the song we danced to at our wedding.
It was a good choice all around.
posted by Ace : 5:42 PM
WHAT'S BIG TIME'S LINE?
So what's the real story about Vice President Dick Cheney's role in steering American foreign policy toward war in Iraq? This New Republic piece (via Talking Points Memo) is the definitive answer, an insightful glimpse at this key neocon's mindset. Key passages:
"The reason that Cheney was able to sell Bush the policy is that he was able to say, 'I've changed,'" says a senior administration official. "'I used to have the same position as [James] Baker, [Brent] Scowcroft, and your father--and here's why it's wrong.'" By February, observes a since-departed senior National Security Council (NSC) staffer, "my sense was the decision was taken." The next month, Bush interrupted a meeting between national security adviser Condoleezza Rice and three senators to boast, "Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out." ...
Cheney's foreign policy vision was paired with a tendency that would prove key to understanding his performance in W.'s White House: a willingness to circumvent the typical bureaucratic channels to gain advantage over his rivals. In particular, Cheney came to see the intelligence establishment as flawed and corrupted by political biases hopelessly at odds with his goals. ...
In short, nothing that has happened in Iraq over the last six months--the missing WMD, the mounting violence, the massive price tag--seems to have prompted any introspection among Cheney or his staff. They continue to carp about the hopelessly dovish bent of the CIA. ...
And, of course, there are enormous foreign policy challenges remaining on the U.S. agenda: the nuclear crises in North Korea and Iran, America's estrangement from the rest of the world, and above all the unfinished war on terrorism. Anyone who thinks the Bush administration will take a softer line on these questions than it did on Iraq is probably kidding himself. Cheney will continue to push the agenda he set out 15 years ago: aggressive promotion of democracy through military power. This is no mere intoxication with ideas of the moment, spurred by a zealous staff or the pain of September 11. This is who Dick Cheney--the most powerful vice president in history--is.
posted by Ace : 10:55 AM
MOO-PHEUS SPEAKS
This is a clever little Flash movie, amusingly educational, about the horrors of factory farming. "The Meatrix is all around you, Leo. It is the story we tell ourselves about where meat and animal products come from. This family farm is a fantasy, Leo."
posted by Ace : 9:53 AM
Monday, October 27, 2003
POTATO HEADS
If you're concerned about the fate of our nation's children due to the state of the environment or the national debt, this study of young American children's eating habits suggests an equally serious and perhaps even more fundamental problem:
Up to a third of the children under 2 consumed no fruits or vegetables, according to the survey. And for those who did have a vegetable, french fries were the most common selection for children 15 months and older.
Nine percent of children 9 months to 11 months old ate fries at least once per day. For those 19 months to 2 years old, more than 20 percent had fries daily.
Not exactly a recipe for success, is it?
posted by Ace : 8:40 AM
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
IF YOU'RE NOT WITH US, BUY OUR SURPLUS
Congress' investigating arm has unearthed this astounding fact: the Pentagon has been selling bioterrorism equipment at garage sale prices.
"Many items needed to establish a laboratory for making biological warfare agents were being sold on the Internet to the public from DoD's excess property inventory for pennies on the dollar, making them both easy and economical to obtain," the GAO draft report said.
No word about this from the Commander in Chief. He's still sticking to the old party line:
"...if you support a terrorist, you're just as guilty as the terrorists, and you can expect to share their fate. We're determined to prevent terror networks from gaining weapons of mass destruction."
So I await his verdict on the fate of these incompetent bureaucrats. Somehow it's more important to this administration to keep bongs out of the hands of recreational pot smokers.
posted by Ace : 8:04 AM
Thursday, September 18, 2003
A GENERAL APPEAL
Are you dissatisfied with the direction that United States has been headed since George W. Bush took office? Are you concerned with the negative impact he and his administration has had -- and will continue to have -- on our economy, our domestic security, our natural resources and environment, our prestige in the world community, our privacy, our very democracy?
In less than five minutes, you can click here and make a tangible difference in the future of our country. I can't think of an easier, more effective way to make a positive change. Time is of the essence, so I encourage you in the strongest possible terms take part in constructively solving America's myriad spiral of problems.
Your destiny thanks you for your support.
posted by Ace : 9:13 AM
Friday, August 29, 2003
CANDLE-LIGHT AMBIENCE COSTS EXTRA
Lest anyone doubt that the United States is more corpocracy than democracy, consider this bright idea: DTE Energy, one of those wonderful power companies that failed to deliver basic electrical service to millions of its customers during this month's blackout, has reneged on its previous public comments and now thinks that those very customers should pay for the cost of the blackout on their bottom line.
In other words, the folks who were left in the dark, such as this 85-year-old woman who had to hike up to her 11th-floor apartment in stages, ought to show some more community spirit on behalf of the utility that failed them. That's in addition, of course, to their own losses, from spoiled food, flooded basements, missed work, and polluted waterways.
By the way, DTE earned $513 million in profits over the past year. If they don't want to cut into their margins, I have two other suggestions:
1. Cut their executives' pay. For example, CEO Anthony Earley, Jr., took home a cool $3.5 million in FY 2002.
2. Stop sending my electric and gas bills in separate envelopes. Somehow DTE can find a way to tap my checking account for the combined amount each month, but more than a year after its merger with MichCon, I still get two separate bills. Apply that kind of redundancy to the power grid, and we might not have to bail them with every blip on their profit-o-meter.
Rant complete. I feel better now.
posted by Ace : 9:44 AM
Saturday, August 23, 2003
HEART OF DARKNESS?
It's been a few weeks between posts, and it's not all due to the power outage. An energy problem, perhaps. But in any case, I'm here, I'm well, and I've had my first cup of coffee (three-quarters decaf these days), enough to jump start my system without any backup generator in service.
Today's New York Times lays out a detailed theory of what went wrong in causing last week's blackout. It's the most specific timetable and description I've seen. But it just doesn't match my experience. On that Thursday afternoon, I was about two miles from home in Ypsilanti Township, Michigan, when I noticed the traffic lights were out. Sure enough, my garage door opener didn't work either, and I knew my busy afternoon had taken a turn for the worse.
Outages are no stranger in my neighborhood, so from memory I dialed my least favorite utility, DTE Energy, to get the scoop/vent my spleen. It was at least the fourth outage of the summer, and that's since a new substation went online to prevent a repeat of even worse problems in years past. Here's my note from the call: "2:55 pm - system shows no crew on site yet." They were aware of the problem but could only say that no one was at any scene fixing it. But note the time. The outage must have started at least 10 minutes prior to 2:55 p.m. That's well before the Cleveland-area power line sagged into a tree. In the Times story, the only mention of earlier events is this:
At 2 in the afternoon, one generator shut down at a power plant east of Cleveland that is operated by FirstEnergy. About a half-hour later, American Electric [a southern Ohio utility] says, it started detecting unusual activity in shared lines, events that led it to contact control rooms in the region.
I'm not suggesting that the outage started in my neighborhood. But it could have. Maybe my outage was totally unrelated to the broader problem. But I doubt it. Should heads roll over this thing? Oh yes. Will they? No, taxpayer bailout money is more likely. Am I so cynical about this that, like Donald Rumsfeld, I've taken to answering my own questions? Oh sure, sure.
Anyway, back around 3 p.m. on Thursday, I informed a few contacts of mine in Cleveland and New York City that I had lost power and didn't know when it would be back. They were understanding, though curious. ("Did you have a storm or something?") They could not have imagined that the same fate awaited them an hour later.
Right around 4 p.m., my dad picked me up for our "guys night out" -- an hour's road trip to Toledo for dinner at Tony Packo's and Mud Hens game. (I know it sounds straight out of Klinger's M*A*S*H* playbook, but it's true.) En route, we heard the breaking news about the expanding scope of the blackout. It took several tries on the cell phone, but we eventually clued in our wives at home. An emergency of unknown proportions and causes was unfolding as we sped on the freeway AWAY from home. Miraculously, the east Toledo area that includes Tony Packo's had power, and, along with the party we were to meet, we enjoyed a great dinner (a tasty cabbage roll and paprikas dumplings for me).
Downtown, however, was out, and so the game was cancelled. On the bright side, we had no problems finding a parking spot! So we walked along the outside of the beautiful new ballpark. You can see the field from the street. A TV cameraman convinced us to stage a reaction shot of us showing up at the park, finding the game cancelled, and disappointedly walking away. So much for real journalism, huh? If it was just me, I would've told him to forget it, but I played along anyway.
The game's promotional giveaway was going to be a Cody Ross bobblehead doll. Ross is an undersized but gritty young outfield prospect. We couldn't convince the gatekeeper to fetch us our dolls. A youngster outside was heard to say, "Who's Cody Ross anyway?" From inside the park a young man yelled, "He sucks." Then he and another fellow, each with young blonde girlfriends, walked out from the gate, followed by two older guys carrying boxes of -- I assumed -- the bobblehead dolls. Sure enough, the guy who said "He sucks" was, in fact, Cody Ross. I pictured him spending the unexpected night off with his party all sitting around a couple candles watching his doll's head bobble crazily in all directions. No batteries required.
posted by Ace : 10:08 AM
Monday, August 04, 2003
ARTICLES ALA CARTE
Just one month ago, a new web site was launched that lets writers get paid for their work by individual reader purchases. The model of RedPaper is unlike anything I've seen, and I really hope it succeeds. I just discovered it last week through this article and this self-supporting blogger.
An example of nanopublishing, RedPaper works like this: people offer items of content in various categories (news, creative works, advice, etc.) and set a price for access, anywhere from 2 cents up. The author keeps about 95% of the total sales (via a PayPal account).
To read articles, users create a buyer's account with a credit card deposit of at least $3. The site charges 30 cents plus 2.5% of the deposit. In choosing what items to buy, you see the article title, description, price, the feedback rating and comments from others who have bought the article, and a link to the author's other articles and total feedback stats. The site layout is clean and simple, with no ads or pop-ups.
It's just getting ramped up, so the available content is fairly sparce, and the audience is not large enough for anyone to make a living from it. But it's an intriguing model of alternative media, actually a fascinating view of a nascent marketplace in action. Some may wonder why anyone would pay for content when there are so many sources of free information on the web, from news sites to blogs. Well, RedPaper's niche is that it breaks down buying decisions into small, discreet units of uncluttered content. Each item must offer potential value to the reader, whether in an economic sense or something more esoteric. Curious beings that we are, we'll always have a need to be informed, entertained, and intrigued. If you have something of unique value -- facts or insights that you are in the best position to offer -- RedPaper seems like a great outlet.
So along those lines, I submitted one article, with this description: "This simple but under-utilized strategy will probably pay for itself -- 10 times over -- the next time you visit Kroger and other grocery stores. It's nothing less than a step-by-step guide to free food."
Within the first day, three buyers were willing to pay $.50 each to read it. Hey, it's no meal ticket, but it's a start.
posted by Ace : 9:32 AM
Monday, July 28, 2003
GO WITH THE FLOW
Not sure who deserves the credit for this oldie that I've seen a few places along the way.
PROBLEM SOLVING
P R O C E S S
YES ============================= NO
+-----------|| Does the Darn Thing work? ||-----------+
| ============================= |
V V
+----------+ +---------+ +---------+
| Don't | NO | Does | +-------+ YES | Did you |
| mess | +---| anyone |<------| YOU |<---------| mess |
| with it! | | | know? | | MORON | | with it |
+----------+ | +---------+ +-------+ +---------+
| V | YES | NO
| +------+ +-----------+ |
| | HIDE | V V
| | IT | +--------+ +-----------+
| +------+ | YOU | YES | WILL THEY |
| | +------->| POOR |<------------| CATCH YOU?|
| | | |BASTARD!| +-----------+
| | | |________| | NO
| | | | |
| | | V V
| | | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | NO | CAN YOU BLAME | |DESTROY THE|
| | +------| SOMEONE ELSE? | | EVIDENCE |
| | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | YES |
| | v |
| | ============================ |
| +---->|| N O ||<---------+
+------------>|| P R O B L E M ||
============================
posted by Ace : 8:09 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
BRING HIM ON
This article in the latest Esquire is a fine profile of the only person -- I'm becoming more convinced -- who can beat President Bush next year. None of the announced candidates scares the Bushies in the least. If national security is the election's overriding issue -- and I don't see how it can't be -- then the Democrats' trump card is General Wesley Clark.
posted by Ace : 9:03 PM
HOW MANY TIMES?
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